Are You Struggling To Cope With Life Transitions?
Do you feel like you’ve been living your life and minding your own business, when suddenly, the unexpected happens—you wake up and realize that something in your life needs to change? You may feel lost, scared and unsure of what to do next.
For example, perhaps one minute you’re bringing a newborn baby home from the hospital and learning to deal with all the changes that accommodating another human being requires, and then the next minute that baby is somehow graduating from school and ready to face the world without you. Once you find yourself with an empty nest, you may question your role in your child’s life—not to mention your own.
Or maybe you hit mid-life and begin to ask yourself, is this all there is to life? You realize that if that’s the case, then something truly needs to change. Whether it’s recognizing that your career is weighing you down, learning how to deal with relationships, understanding how to manage time and money or realizing that nothing feels fulfilling—it’s time to take action and find a way to embrace something new.
Life Transitions Are Difficult For Everyone—You Are Not Alone.
Transitions in your life can take many different forms. If you are facing a difficult life transition, you might experience drastic changes in your life—like becoming a student, starting a new job, buying your first home, beginning a serious relationship or marriage, becoming a parent or an empty nester, going through a divorce, retiring, losing a loved one or dealing with chronic illness. Like so many others, transitions in life directly affect you, how you define yourself, your time and how you create meaning in your life.
Most people want to live a good life, be a good person and contribute to the world in a meaningful way. But, what works when you’re a twenty-something may no longer fit in your thirties or forties. Jobs and relationships can start to feel stale and stifling. Priorities and values shift in and out of focus. The thought of losing something you’ve become accustomed to can be frightening, even for the most adventurous person.
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Developmentally, change and transitions are inevitable. But that doesn’t mean that facing personal transitions is easy. It can be completely normal to feel hesitant, apprehensive and frightened when looking ahead to the unknown. Change can be difficult to cope with, especially when it requires you to make big choices as you enter an entirely new stage of your life. In my experience, this discomfort can also signal the beginning of something new and better. But when the pain of living the way you are currently is no longer bearable, something has to change.
Luckily, with the support from an experienced counselor, you can get through even the most stressful life events. Remember, no matter what you are facing today, you are not alone.
Can You Relate?
Do you remember when you were a child owning a pair of shoes that fit you perfectly? They reflected your personality and made a statement about who you were. You would wear them every chance you could and even sometimes when they weren’t considered appropriate. You cleaned them up when they got dirty and put them on each day with pride. And then the unthinkable happened…you grew.
No matter how hard you tried to squeeze yourself into those shoes they were just too tight, too worn out and way too uncomfortable. You searched for the same shoes in a new size, but there were none. So you had to settle on a completely different pair of shoes. That new style couldn’t compare to the old one initially. But the more you looked, you found a new style of shoe that spoke to you like the ones before. You got those shoes, broke them in and eventually these were your new favorite shoes.
Just like that outgrown pair of shoes, unexpected life events ask us to be open to something new. We don’t know exactly what the new experience will be like because it is unknown. However, if we are willing to give ourselves time and space to seek out the next right step for us, we could find that this chapter in life is like our next pair of favorite shoes, shoes that reflect our personality better, show who we are NOW and are comfortable in this phase of our life. Eventually, we can learn that outgrowing shoes might be sad temporarily, but in the long run allows us the ability to walk comfortably in our life right now.
If You Are Dealing With Transition, Therapy Can Help
At It All Connects Counseling, I can help you get through these difficult changes and support you as you move on to the next phase of your life. Through years of experience, I have learned that what we often need is the time and space to breathe, think and feel as we discover what we want and identify the right steps forward. As we work together, I won’t judge you or tell you what to do. Instead, I can offer you a safe place to talk through your concerns.
Working through transitions involves assessing what in your life is currently working and what is not. It involves determining what the next chapter of your life could look like, what you want to have more of, what is intolerable and needs to go and a plan for how to get there. Transitions can be opportunities to consider options that were not possible before. Having a second set of ears and eyes to explore those options, including potential obstacles and benefits of making those changes, can allow you to move into the next chapter of life in alignment with your heart and soul.
Life transitions counseling can allow you to ask yourself hard questions, without the fear of your friends’ or family member’s judgement or unsolicited input. I offer an unbiased point of view to help you truly gain the clarity you need to move forward. You have the ability to explore options, gather new information and create an actionable plan to realize the positive changes you’re aiming for.
In my experience, the uncomfortable feeling that “something needs to change” is actually an invitation to explore the next chapter of your life. But ignoring or denying you are having these feelings won’t make them go away. It’s time to face into your fear, peer into the unknown and see what information lies in this experience. You might be pleasantly surprised.
In My Experience —A Word To The Wise
Making life changes and transitions are best done with the gift of time. Instead of grasping at what you’re supposed to do, why not take a little while to pause, breathe, reflect, research and weigh options then make an informed decision? Instead of pushing through the constant stress, what if you gave yourself permission to consider whether your life is matching your values, your dreams and your expectations? Are you willing to line up what you’re doing each day, with what you always dreamed of doing with your life? Life transitions and the changes they call for can help us align our lives with the deeply held values we have. And by lining up our actual life with our ideal life we can reduce the amount of regret we carry.
By exploring your options for counseling, you may discover some information that can help you make the decision that gives your life meaning. I can help support you as you learn to follow your intuition and allow yourself time and space to breathe and reflect. Decisions that are given space and not rushed often deliver satisfactory results over those that are impulsively or reflexively made. You deserve the time and support you need to move forward. You owe yourself the time to seek out the next best thing.
You May Have Concerns About Counseling For Change And Transition...
It’s not really a big deal—I should be able to figure this out on my own.
Many of us feel a great deal of pressure to have all the answers, even though few—if any!—of us actually do. If you have been stuck with an irrepressible feeling or a constant fear of what comes next, then maybe it’s time to seek help from a professional who can become a part of the solution. Asking for help might even shorten the time you spend struggling with these thoughts and feelings.
It is not a weakness to seek help. By engaging in counseling, you can learn to make positive choices that lead to your best life.
I am afraid that if I reach out for help, I will be obliged to take your advice.
Counseling is all about tapping into your own inner wisdom and making a decision from there. I enjoy teaching my clients how to listen to their own inner wisdom, rather than looking to others for approval or guidance. This is part of maturation and healing, and a key piece of becoming empowered to decide what is best for you. If adapting to change while maintaining a sense of agency and direction is difficult for you, I can help you gain the skills you need to create a more fulfilling life.
I’m afraid of the unknown...
This is the truth: the unknown IS scary, at first. But think about the first time you tried to do something you had never tried before, such as riding a horse, speaking in public, running a race or even creating your own business. Those things were scary in the beginning too, but with practice and experience, they became a source of joy in your life. Facing the unknown can uncover opportunities and personal growth that you were unaware of. At It All Connects Counseling, I will ensure that you are not alone through these life transitions. I can offer a new perspective that will help you navigate these unknown waters.
Get The Support You Need With Counseling
If you are ready to move forward and face the changes that life is presenting you right now, give me a call. If you’re curious we’d be a good fit, I invite you to call me for a free 15-minute introductory call me at 330-705-9521. Voicemail is usually returned within 24 hours, except on weekends and holidays.